The PbK Guide to Getting the Sex You Want: How to Talk About Sex for More Pleasure, Connection, and Confidence SKU: 211281

A 75-page workbook packed with the exact tools that have helped hundreds—and that will help you—have more confidence, connection, and pleasure in the bedroom and beyond.

*Valentine's Day sale: use code LOVE to save 10%*


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You can have the intimate, exciting, and satisfying sex life you crave (and deserve).

And you don’t need to change yourself, your body, your partner, your relationship structure, or anything else to have it. 

Because, spoiler: you aren’t broken. 

You were just given the wrong set of directions to get there (and, yes, we mean there).

Whether you're:

  • not having sex often enough
  • don’t know how to talk about sex
  • feel like your desire is too high, too low, or mismatched with your partner’s
  • are bored with the same ol’ stuff in bed (foreplay, you there?)
  • or are struggling with a body that’s “misbehaving” from a life change, medication, aging, illness, or stress…

It's possible to have sex that's fun, fulfilling, and as frequent as you want. You just need some tools and a new perspective.

It all starts with asking for what you want and need

If you were raised on a steady diet of romcoms and romance novels (or maybe you just joined our ranks thanks to #Bridgerton – welcome!), there’s this underlying idea that a partner should *just know* how to please you. There’s a misconception that relationships should be easy—or at the very least have the conflict resolve with an Oh So Romantic (often rain-soaked) Conclusion…and then live happily ever after…

You’re living in the “ever after” now and you might be wondering WTF?! 

Imagine if you could

  • Feel confident to ask for exactly what you want—in the bedroom and out.
  • Have open, nonjudgmental conversations about sex—that don’t end in a fight.
  • Stop worrying about rejection or hurt feelings—and start experiencing deeper connection and intimacy with your partner-plus (more) orgasms!
  • Have your partner/s who knows exactly how to please you.
  • Feel sexy, confident, empowered and at-home in yourself.

Introducing: The PbK Guide to Getting the Sex You Want: How to Talk About Sex for More Pleasure, Connection, and Confidence​

What’s Included in The Guide

A 75 page workbook full of ... 

  • Real talk that answers real questions about how to talk about sex, based on the exact strategies Kait has used to help hundreds of couples in her sex coaching and couples counseling practice
  • Journal prompts to help you discover more about your desires and whatever might be blocking them
  • Guided meditations for integrating more confidence and opening up to more pleasure
  • Movement practices to support you with an embodied understanding and application of everything you will learn
  • And more.

$199 value


  • When and how to have conversations about sex (and when not to)
  • What to say in the moment— and what’s better left for less vulnerable (usually more clothed) moments 
  • How to talk about sex without fighting, feeing awkward AF, or hurting their feelings
  • Practical + powerful tools that take less than 5 minutes a day to have deeper communication, a stronger connection, and hotter sex.
  • Communication strategies for couples—that also help every other relationship in your life
  • How to talk about something you’re extra nervous about
  • EARRS – the proprietary PbK framework that makes talking about sex—or any vulnerable topic—safer so that you can deepen your connection


Bonus #1: Essential Prep Work for More Productive Conversations About Sex 

Use these activities on your own or with your partner to set the scene and have more open, nonjudgmental conversations about sex that lead to real change. ($55 value)

Bonus #2: Conversation Starters for People Who Feel Awkward Talking About Sex, Deluxe Edition

This expanded version of our popular freebie includes dozens of opening lines so that you can start talking about sex, even if you’ve never done so before. ($33 value)

Bonus #3: Say THIS In Bed.

Use these phrases in the moment to get what you want in bed and talk dirty without feeling awkward (or sounding like you’re following a script). ($22 value)

Bonus #4: In Case of Emergency Conversation Repair Kit

If your conversation starts going south (and not in the fun way), use these strategies to stop the fight from getting worse, prevent (more) hurt feelings, and help you kiss and make up. ($99 value)

Bonus #5: Check-In Template

A regular check-in is a powerful practice for building intimacy and deepening your connection. Use this template as inspiration for guiding the conversation during it. ($55 value)

Total Value: $463

But you can get your hands on The Guide (and then each other) for just $55!

What The Guide Gives You

  • Foundational tools to have open conversations about sex (yup, even that thing you’re thinking but too scared to say out loud) without feeling awkward, fighting, or hurting anyone’s feelings.
  • The exact strategies Kait’s used to help hundreds of couples in her sex coaching and couples counseling practice to create a more intimate, exciting, and fulfilling relationship/s that lasts—no matter what life throws your way (yes, even a pandemic)
  • Holistic practices that support your mind, body, and spirit for your sex life and relationship/s to thrive.

About the Author

"You’re the only person I’ve ever really told this to”

Yup, that^ person is me.

Hi, I’m Kait, PbK’s Founder and Executive Director. Over the past 11+ years working as a sex coach and educator, I’ve heard these words from thousands of people of all genders, sexualities, ages, races, ability, religions, relationship structures, and politics.

What’s the “this” they’re talking about? 

Things like issues with low or mismatched desire, struggling to orgasm, unsure how to find pleasure after having a baby or getting diagnosed with a chronic illness, and more. 

There’s always the problem that people come to me with, the thing that prompts them to take the step—and, underneath that, there’s almost always a lack of connection and communication.

Because, when I probe about past conversations, what I hear is either “Oh no we don’t talk about sex” OR “We’ll talk about it, something will change for a few days, and then things go right back to normal.”


As someone in a long-term relationship (16+ years!) who’s navigated long distance, multiple chronic illnesses, disability, family cancer, body changes, and changes in desire/ability to “have” sex, I know how hard these conversations about sex can be. 

TBH—I used to roll my eyes when my colleagues stressed the importance of communication. After all, there’s a whole big world of sex toys, positions, tools, tips, and tricks to try! Let’s just do it.

Except…what kept popping up at workshops and in my sex coaching and couple’s counseling practice were, well, communication issues. Things like:

  • “I haven’t told this to anyone, not even my partner” 
  • “I’m worried they’ll reject me or I’ll offend them” 
  • “Every time we try to talk about it, we end up fighting”
  • “We talk about it but nothing ever changes.” 


As couples learned how to talk about sex—and began having open, productive, nonjudgmental conversations about sex—the initial issue they came to see me about either resolved itself OR became no longer important. 

So I dove into studying communication, shame, attachment, and conflict. I read up on  therapeutic modalities like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Internal Family Systems (because how you talk to yourself and what you tell yourself about sex is also important). I read up on The Gottmans’ research on check-ins, Gestalt storytelling practices, Brene Brown’s approaches to shame, and EFT’s tools for navigating conflict. I trained in somatics, boundaries, and resourcing yourself to have hard conversations with Jane Clapp, Karine Bell, and Resmaa Menakem. 

All along, dropping bits and pieces into counseling work. Asking clients if they’d like to try something different. Watching as they began having conversations about sex and more connection, confidence, and pleasure more quickly. 

And that? ALL of that is distilled into The Guide.